October 11, 2020 by Kgalalelo
I had my birthday on Thursday, 8th October and I thank the Lord for His grace. He has been good to me and still is. One of my mentors who is now deceased could have celebrated her birthday as well yesterday and her passing was a great loss to me and others who loved her. She taught me the value of spending money wisely and being content when I didn’t have it and to always remember what I did with the one I had.
Anyhow, I have been thinking a lot lately about whether it is possible to have everything we want in life and even so, packaged exactly as we’d like. I have lived and travelled, observed and experienced life and am grateful for everything that I have and blessed with. God always gives me the things that I ask for and I have enjoyed all that He has given me and still do. I’ve realised that even the things that we pray for and are granted by God, will have perfect imperfections.
When you pray for a godly husband or wife, for instance, God surely answers but we are all developing and growing everyday. We are evolving beings and the perfect person, though complete in God, will enter the marriage with habits that you might not appreciate, things they need to grow in or improve on and because they come from a different background, will do things differently from how you were taught.
The package is complete yet not full. God created a human with everything and embedded His own qualities in everyone of us but because of different experiences that we encounter in life, we behave and act differently in all circumstances including marriage.
In 1 Samuel 13:14, David is called a man after God’s own heart. Even though he was, his life was not perfect. He was chased by enemies and always called on God to rescue him. Not everyone thought that he was perfect, including Saul who hunted him down.
In Psalm 35:1-3, for instance, David says to the Lord: “Contend, Lord, with those who contend with me;
fight against those who fight against me.
Take up shield and armour;
arise and come to my aid.
Brandish spear and javelin
against those who pursue me”.
He trusted the Lord in everything but life had its own challenges, nonetheless. He was the anointed king, chosen by God but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t experience difficulties sometimes. He had to hide in caves afraid of his pursuers though a brave warrior.
Nations waged war against him, meaning, he never experienced peace on every sides all the time during his reign. The psalms are a source of encouragement for all of us, now living in this epoch, whether David lamented or rejoiced. They are a demonstration of what life is all about, it has both good and those experiences that do not seem to be perfect.
In all of those though, we are reminded in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
When God blesses you with a beautiful big house of your dreams, it comes with maintenance both on the inside and out. Something is bound to break or malfunction and that would need fixing, it needs to be cleaned everyday and whether you do it yourself which can be tiresome sometimes, hiring someone to do it for you comes with its own challenges. It might not be done exactly as you would like.
Most of our brick houses are full of cracks and visited by ants in summer. If it is not one thing, it is another. The question is that, are you able to live with your choices or even better, know that even in the perfect conditions, there will be some imperfections?
The tap will leak sometimes and the pipes may burst. Even though it is the dream home, the kitchen window might not be exactly where you want it to be, the bedrooms might be big enough for you but the backyard not so. Are you able to live with those minor things; this is what you need to ask yourself?
The best school for your children might be a few kilometres away, while the grocery store very close to your house. What are you willing to compromise? Comfort or amenities? You need to look at what matters the most to you.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is divorced and seeking to find a good new husband. My question to her was around the issue of compromise. When you have been married before, you probably know what you want and don’t want, based on the experiences of the first marriage but what is it that you are willing to compromise? The other person also has expectations and baggage and you might not be in the position of meeting those expectation although you are Mr or Mrs right.
The person might be wrapped up well but not fully complete according to our worldly standards. Mr right could be a godly man but short on finances and Mrs right could be a godly woman who can’t cook or make the bed. Are you able to meet each other half way?
There are many good people out there who could have made awesome wives or husbands but because of the many standards we have set for ourselves even though we are not that perfect ourselves, many end up being single and lonely because of those minute things. You need to look at what matters the most to you without being unreasonable.
The most beautiful or most handsome person is flawed also, they might fall short of mannerism or humility, it could be something else. I heard a story told by a pastor once, that there once was a pastor who wanted to marry and fell in love with the worship leader in his church and took her for his wife and discovered after the wedding that she couldn’t cook. All she could do was sing and worship.
He was disappointed as he wanted a companion that could handle household chores and this woman didn’t know how to do anything. There are certain things that you can’t test beforehand, you have to enter into them to know them. In this instance, one friend of mine taught his wife how to cook and it was not a train smash to him that she couldn’t. This is another way of viewing it or even better, doing it together. Grow and learn together.
Footnote: Scriptures taken from the The Holy Bible, New King James Version, 1982: Nashville, TN, Thomas Nelson, Inc. & The ESV Global Study Bible®, ESV® Bible, Copyright © 2012 by Crossway. All rights reserved & The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™ (2004). Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Wheaton, Ill: Tyndale House Publishers. The Holy Bible, Berean Study Bible, BSB Copyright ©2016, 2018 by Bible Hub Used by Permission. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2016 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.
Kgalalelo Saane Mphephuka
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